Safe and Healthy Attachments
Adoptees come to us with a loss even as babies. Without a loss of some kind, they would not be available for adoption.
Every story is unique but what connects each adoptee is the feeling of something missing. They may not be aware of it at first, but for most adoptees, it develops and can become unbearable.
In order to help bridge this gap, it is essential that adoptive families create a safe and secure home, environment and relationship. This will help foster safer attachments.
There is no guarantee the love you lavish on your adopted child will be enough. Often times, love is not enough. But with love, and the desire to stay woke, love,combined with understanding can help to create safer attachments.
Both adoptees and adoptive parents are evolving. Often, the adoptee evolves at a faster rate than their adoptive parent. During one stage the adoptee may feel their adoption is the best thing since sliced bread. Fast forward a few years and they may be suffering because they feel an immense disconnect.
The important thing is to meet them where they are at. Do not create trauma where there is none and provide proper resources that will help them manage adoption trauma from day one.
Adoption is complicated and each adoptee has their own set of worries.
The job of every adoptive parent is to listen and learn but speak as little as possible.
By not inserting your opinion on an experience you may not have had, you are giving your adoptee a voice and permission to speak their truth.
Adoptive parents, in order to be the best parent representation, you need to be willing to evolve.